Having historical figures over for dinner

If you could have four dead people of historical importance to dinner, who would you invite? The rules are they wouldn’t be dead at dinner, you can’t invite Hitler (who wants to hear “Hitler’s here!”) and they would leave by 9 so you’d have time to clean and get to bed at a proper hour.

Let’s imagine our guests are William Shakespeare, Joan of Arc, Franz Kafka and Socrates …

Joan of Arc arrives at the house first, followed by Shakespeare and Kafka, who came in an Uber. Both appear to have been drinking. Socrates is 20 minutes late — he got into a fistfight with his limo d...