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'If it Ain't Country, I Ain't Drinking'


October 21, 2021

In my spare time, I think up titles for country-western songs. The practice provides an opportunity to explore the themes that country-western music is known for.

Here are some:

“My Boyfriend’s a Dirty, Low-Down, No-Account, Lying, Cheating, Bird-Dogging Fool, But I Hate Him Anyway”

“You’re the Grout in My Log Cabin of Love”

“There’s a Deer in My Beer”

“Eating Beans, Splitting Seams”

“I Have High Friends in Low-Cut, Acid-Washed Jeans”

“He Stole My Heart So I Stole His Smokes”

“My Liver’s Living on Whiskey Rive...

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