These Times

“Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!” — Steve Martin

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What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal?

A polar bear.

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“When I was a kid, I got no respect. I had no friends. I remember the seesaw. I had to keep runnin’ from one end to the other.” — Rodney Dangerfield

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One winter day in northern Minnesota, Ole asked Lena to walk across the lake and get him some cigarettes from the store.

Lena said, “OK, give me some money.”

“Charge it to my account,” Ole responded.

“Why won’t you give me the money?” Lena asked.

“Because I don’t know how thick the ice is...