Find, fix, kill: How we acquire what we own

Kirk Ericson | Apr 27, 20230

Let’s you and I agree — for purposes of the point I hope to make here — that the U.S. economy has two groups: One is the group that buys new items, items like clothes, Post-it notes, push pins, ping-pong paddles, slot screwdrivers, French presses and automobiles. And the other group is the one downstream from the first group, maybe enjoying a swim while they wait for those items to float by.

When wireless earbuds became popular in the 2010s, I thought, “What a swell idea.” You can listen to any music you like while walking around, untethered. You can listen to the Kinks or Fiona Apple or Natalie Merchant or the Silver Jews or John Prine or AC/DC or ABBA or David Bowie or Gogol Bordello, and you can do it whenever and wherever you want.

The future was here, but I stayed present. I didn’t buy earbuds.

I could afford them — kind of — but to buy them new, you’d have to read about earbuds, find the very best deal, and then decide whether the quality and price were in sync. You might wonder whether you want the ones with the bass boost activator on the buds. Maybe you’d talk to friends and family about their experiences with their earbuds so you could make a more informed consumer decision.

Then you’ve got to figure out where to buy them.

And then, once you finally get your earbuds, you might wonder whether you got the right earbuds for the right price.

“Did I get screwed?”

All that’s too much for me. Plus, I’m cheap. I’d rather have what I desire come to me in its own sweet time, with its own little story and at its own sweet price. That’s just me. I do understand that if everybody approached our economy my way, we wouldn’t have anything to put in our commercials. Imagine.

A month ago, a friend pulled a pair of Bose earbuds — still in their charging container — out of his backpack while we drank beer after playing ping-pong. Ron said he found them on the floor of an empty city transit bus. I gave them a sound check and took them home, where I cleaned the earhole protrusions with isopropyl alcohol. A few days later, I gave Ron $20, and I’ve been an earbud-wearing, walkabout fool ever since.

It has since occurred to me that this is how I’ve acquired most of the objects I have: I want something, I forget that I wanted something, and then through luck and time, I get the thing I forgot I sought. Maybe you do that too?

I have a friend who lives in Wiesbaden, Germany, where he has a job that requires him to be aware of matters involving the actions of the U.S. military. Enough said about that.

I mentioned to Brad a couple of days ago how I acquired the earbuds and how it’s a common method for me to obtain objects. Then the conversation wandered into how other people approach shopping by being engaged, directed and informed consumers.

“It’s find, fix, kill for them,” Brad said.

“What?”

“Find, fix, kill” is military-speak for taking out an enemy. You find the enemy, you determine (fix) their location, then you kill them.

That phrase seems to capture how a lot of us engage with our economy. People who’ve died in Black Friday stampedes certainly weren’t just waiting for that big screen TV to float by.

Here are a few items I’ve had wander into my life:

■ A used laptop from my brother.

■ A computer monitor from the desk of a relative’s dead ex-husband.

■ My current ping-pong paddle.

■ A futon from the neighbors.

■ Right now, everything I’m wearing is an item received: Socks and pants from another brother, a shirt and hoodie from Mrs. Ericson, and a hat my youngest son brought from Ireland.

Giving Ron $20 for earbuds won’t register a peep in any gross domestic product report, but every ecosystem, which our economy essentially is, needs a place where what’s been discarded or lost can find a new place.