Random thoughts for this day in May

Kirk Ericson | May 05, 20220

Kangaroo Court and Star Court would be good road names in a housing development. Here are other possibilities: Hula Loop, Hard Road, Rue Avenue, Lame Lane, Broken Dreams Boulevard, No Way, Miss Place and Osama Bin Terrace.

A picture isn’t worth 1,000 words if all you do is repeat the word “the” 1,000 times.

When you go to your first rodeo, take a moment to appreciate that this is your first rodeo.

The good thing about eating asparagus is that when you go the bathroom afterward, you might be reminded of what you had for dinner.

It seems to be true that the less you know, the more you think you know.

Do you ever get food delivered to your table at a restaurant and think it’s just enough to be too much?

A man badly damaged his leg in a motorcycle accident. Doctors had no choice but to amputate his leg from the knee up.

Here’s a terrible question to ask a high school coach after his softball team loses 19-2: “Was the game closer than the score indicated?”

Saying “Thoughts and prayers aren’t enough” after a mass gun slaying in the U.S. has become the cliched liberal response to people who say, “Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their families.” Pretty soon the pro-thoughts and prayers folks will come up with a fresh, focus-group-tested response developed by a conservative think tank. Just you wait.

I bet computer scientists have created a robot that can click the “I am not a robot” dialog box on websites. That box seems like it’s the security equivalent of airport checkers, back in the day, asking fliers whether they packed their own luggage.

A short history of similar words: According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, the first known use of the word “dink” was in 1903. The first use of “nerd” was in 1951, and the first known uses of the words “geek” and “dork” came in 1965.

A total of about 30 students with perfect 4.0 GPAs are graduating this year in my son’s senior class. How do you select the one valedictorian and the one salutatorian out of so many people? I know. By height.

If municipalities with professional sports teams changed their stadium and arena names to “Corporation Park,” they wouldn’t have to change their signs and letterhead every time a new corporation buys the naming rights.

An odd fact: Before the 20th century, doctors would taste their patient’s urine to diagnose cases of diabetes. The urine of diabetics would taste extra sweet. So ... you still think life is worse now than it’s ever been?

A lot of people might not know this, but the Hiram M. Chittenden Locks in the Seattle neighborhood of Ballard is named after a fellow named Hiram M. Chittenden.

People who yell “We the People” at rallies apparently believe the majority of people in the United States don’t qualify as people.

I am a baby boomer, but I don’t identify as one.

Remember back in the day when rainstorms were called “rainstorms,” not “atmospheric rivers?”

Helium is a finite resource.

True story: While I was helping a friend move out of his house many years ago, I scooted the stove away from the wall and spotted a desiccated, dusty, cooked chicken lying against the floorboard. I mentioned the discovery to my friend. He replied, “Oh. I wondered where that went.”

■ Contact Kirk Ericson at [email protected].