Dedicated to the citizens of Mason County, Washington since 1886

Warm thoughts for a December day

The difference between breakfast and brunch is you can order alcohol at brunch and not be considered an alcoholic. But if you order alcohol at breakfast, people will talk.

We need more people who are into governance, not politics. It’s similar to being spiritual, not religious.

Here’s something wonderful: unexpected sunshine.

The one thought you don’t want to forget when you’re in the middle of setting rat traps is that you’re in the middle of setting rat traps.

I bet some kids who are considered runaways might have just walked away.

When I’m behind a vehicle that’s displaying decals I disagree with, I’ll pull alongside so I can check out the driver, but often the vehicle’s windows are tinted and I can’t see inside. That’s frustrating because I can’t reinforce my prejudices about what people I disagree with look like.

A growing field of work for psychologists, psychiatrists and therapists must be talking down a patient who’s experiencing a politics-related conspiratorial psychosis.

You’re not supposed to speak ill of the dead, but is it OK to speak ill of the ill?

His French-Canadian girlfriend puts the coeur in Vancouver.

There’s a park in Texas named Roman Nose State Park.

Hurricanes are given names. Why not tornadoes?

With the coronavirus, God appears to be engaged in a more precise form of smiting than the wholesale smiting that you might find in, say, the Old Testament book of Judges.

Tip for negotiating old age: Always pay attention to push/pull signs on doors so you’re not surprised when you commit to the wrong motion. Fumbling with a door will cause onlookers to think, “Hope I’m not like that when I’m his age.”

I’ve met people who say they’re a morning person or a night person, but I’ve never met an afternoon person.

I used a bathroom in a bar in Tombstone, Arizona, where the urinal basin had a picture of a kneeling Colin Kaepernick, ex-quarterback of the 49ers, glued dead center of the target zone. I hadn’t thought a lot about Kaepernick before seeing that urinal, but I now realize Kaepernick must be on the right path.

How come the phrase is “Lose your lunch,” but not “Lose your breakfast?” It must be an alliteration thing.

Being vocal about their admiration for Lady Gaga or Bruno Marrs allows baby boomers to think they’re hip.

Inflation is so bad these days the March of Dimes is having a harder time covering expenses.

A few readers have told me that something I’ve written has made them spit milk, and I always forget to ask, “Were you drinking soy or dairy milk?” I assume people who are lactose intolerant are much harder to make laugh.

Life goes better if you love the place you live.

I was listening to former FOX TV commentator Glenn Beck on AM radio while driving through Texas in November. He was selling his art for a limited time only, and for special radio listeners, Beck said you can get 25% off your next order if you type in the promo code “Fauci lied.”

A new term for old people: Classic humans.

If anyone knows what’s going on in a small town, it’s the friendliest waitress or waiter in the only cafe.

An unusual sight along Interstate 40 east of Albuquerque: You can see the entire length of a freight train as you drive along.

Because few people openly advocate for eugenics these days, the people who encouraged eugenics back in the 20th century clearly made a tactical error. They should have stressed “openly advocate for eugenics” as the primary desirable attribute for a human.

I’ve lived in Washington my whole life. I’m a Washington post-Native native.

People who won’t get the COVID-19 vaccine are coddling the virus. They’re virus appeasers. They’re ceding the battlefield. They refuse to muster their courage against a present threat. If these people were Minutemen during the Revolutionary War, we’d still be speaking the queen’s English!

What’s with starting a sentence by saying, “I’m not sure, but I think …” and then we complete the sentence? People do this. I do this. If we’re not sure, let’s not start the sentence.

A friend who grew up in Arizona said when he was a boy, he thought Gallup opinion polls came by polling people who lived in Gallup, New Mexico.

A woman working at a rest stop just across the Texas border in Oklahoma gave me a stamp from her purse so I could mail a postcard. I tried to give her 60 cents for the stamp, but she refused. “Keep your money,” she said. “I try to do one nice thing a day and this is it.”

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Kirk Ericson, Columnist / Proofreader

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Shelton-Mason County Journal & Belfair Herald
email: [email protected]

 

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