Dedicated to the citizens of Mason County, Washington since 1886

'If it Ain't Country, I Ain't Drinking'

In my spare time, I think up titles for country-western songs. The practice provides an opportunity to explore the themes that country-western music is known for.

Here are some:

“My Boyfriend’s a Dirty, Low-Down, No-Account, Lying, Cheating, Bird-Dogging Fool, But I Hate Him Anyway”

“You’re the Grout in My Log Cabin of Love”

“There’s a Deer in My Beer”

“Eating Beans, Splitting Seams”

“I Have High Friends in Low-Cut, Acid-Washed Jeans”

“He Stole My Heart So I Stole His Smokes”

“My Liver’s Living on Whiskey River”

“String Him Up Girls!”

“The Ballad of Sidney Hirschbaum”

“I Spat Chaw on My Bunkmate’s Whoozit”

“Bushwhacked at the Marriott”

“Outgunned, Out-Trucked and Outta Here”

“If You’re Ever in Amarillo, I Know a Good Place for Sushi”

“Pardon Me For Squintin’ ”

“Mommas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboy Fans”

“I Misplaced My Cows”

“You Never Forget Your First Momma”

“C’mon. My Branding Iron Needs Heating”

“She Drove Her Dirty Pickup Thru My Three-Garage Heart”

“I Got Drunk with Jack & Jill Daniels”

“Let’s Fight! It’s High Noon Somewhere!”

“Mange, Mange on the Range”

“Pass the Gruyere, Cowpoke”

“50 Cent Ain’t Two Bits to Me”

“Sunsets, Songs and Canned Hams”

“U Ain’t Nothin’ If You’re Not Droppin’ the G Thang”

“Let’s Git to Gruntin’ ”

Email Kirk Ericson at [email protected]

Author Bio

Kirk Boxleitner, Reporter

Author photo

Shelton-Mason County Journal & Belfair Herald
[email protected]

 

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